Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Cards Never Lie

I stared into the soulless eyes of the gypsy as she turned the final tarot card. Her ringed fingers moved delicately and with purpose. She laid the card face up, then scratched the back of my hand 3 times with her long purple fingernail. The card she had turned was the Thermos Guzzler. It appeared that my fate had been sealed.

"What does this all mean?" I asked her with deep concern

"Oh this is very interesting indeed. Many times I have read the cards, but never have I seen anything like this... very curious"

"Oh dear god... Am I going to die of some horrible disease!? Is my girlfriend seeing another man!? I have my whole life ahead of me! Please tell me what it all means!!!"

"It just means that the Thermos Guzzler will creep into your room and drink the entire contents of your thermos when you aren't looking."

"Oh, I guess I can live with that."

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