"Frank Sanatra loved Skittles. Then again, he also worshiped Satan."
"Oh course you can borrow my Afghan quilt Delilah... although I haven't washed it since my brother Jonesy lost his virginity under it."
"What do you mean Medusa isn't real? I could have sworn I slept with her at Daytona Beach Spring Break 95 bro!"
"Are you there god? It's me Lester. I need direction, and I'm all out of Pez."
"...So instead of paying the bill, I told the waiter he looked like Westley Snipes, then took a piss all over the coat rack! You should have seen the look on his French face, it was priceless."
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