Sweet Syndication

Glued to the television for countless days, reruns have now become my best friends.
Five episodes of the Maury Povich Show, then the theme song to Three’s Company. I stare blankly at the screen and mouth the song word for word, “Come and knock on our door... we’ve been waiting for you.”
Deep red Kool-Aid stains around my mouth. Cheeto’s dust on my fingers and rayon blouse. The prophylactic that Jebna and I had used, hangs shrink-wrapped and dry on my member.
If I can’t get what I want, I can at least think about all the things I need. For example: I need to head down to Monroe's for some liquorices and a titi dance - but I don’t have the strength to pry myself off of this pleather couch. Shit, I don’t even have enough energy to walk to the toilet anymore - instead I opt to soil my silk boxers, as I sit anxiously and wait for another episode of Quantum Leap to start.