Since Mike said goodbye to reality a long time ago, I have decided that the time has come to put him in his proper place. That is why the next time I see him (presumably as he deplanes at LaGuardia Airport) I am instantly going to throw him into a full nelson head lock. I am sure that it will draw some strange stares from other passengers and security, but it will be worth it... as god as my witness it will be worth it.
This is not the first time Mike has been put into a full nelson, or a half nelson for that matter. As a child attending St. Andrews preparatory school he was constantly chastised by the other school children for not having a Jan Sport book bag, and wearing the wrong kind of Sebago loafers. This barrage of harassment eventually contributed to his on set of night terrors or pavor nocturnus, which still plague him to this very day. He will be in a seemingly peaceful sleep, then out of nowhere scream cries of panic at the top of his lungs. The very sound of his wailing brings a chill to the bone, and a tear to the eye.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_nelson
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors
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