Salty Cats

Dearest Jeremiah,

I pray that this letter finds you well. I know that times have been hard on you and the children since Shannon left. I am confident that you will make it through these trying times.

I am very pleased to hear that you are coming to visit in November. I just beg you to take extra caution when crossing through the North Woods. You see Jeremiah, the Salty Cats live there and they will scratch you with their salty claws. They have also been known to sell crack cocaine to young children in the area. Beware of their shrill cries, which are enough to turn a man into stone.

So I beg you, for your sake, and by god for the children's sake, please stay away from the Salty Cats. They want your soul and will do just about anything to get it.

Yours Truly,

Patty Sinclair